Midgets

I am afraid of midgets. I admit it. I am terrified of the creatures, and freeze, trying desperately to breathe, when I see one in person. On film, it's pretty bad, too, but at least I know they can't get close to me.

At the pool last weekend, my daughter ran and jumped in the deep end, and as I made to follow, I saw someone, something, run past me and jump in. My daughter's eyes grew wide as she looked sideways at it, then up at me. I could see that she was trying not to laugh. Yes, it was a midget. They let one in? How could they do such a thing? I was stuck to the cement, trying not to hyperventilate. She kept an eye on it as it swam over to the side and climbed out. I ran and jumped in and told my daughter that we had to go swim at the other end of the deep part of the pool. She started laughing but closed her mouth when I gave her a nasty look.

It could have been worse - if her brother had been there, he would have started yelling, "Look, Mom, I think we know him. Do you know him? Should we say hi?" He takes great pleasure in my irrational fears, particularly the midget and ketchup ones. This is why animals eat their young.